Summer's End

The last day of summer. It came WAY too soon this year. With the snow day make up days tacked onto the end of the year, and the ever earlier start of the school year, summer was shorter than ever. It didn't help that I tutored an insane amount this summer...I really only had one free day each week for summer activities!!

Therefore, the last day of summer? I had to SOAK. IT. UP.

I did a little poolside reading of What to Expect the First Year while feeling huge in the maternity swimsuit my cousin let me borrow. But I didn't care, I had to enjoy the last time in about 15 years I'll probably sit at a pool and just enjoy quietly reading a book. And I had to learn what in the world to do with the baby once he comes out!! I feel a bit like Rachel from Friends at her baby shower.

I took a nice dog walk with Maggie. The poor thing, I learned at the vet that she's gained a few pounds and I'm sure it is MY fault. Since my feet starting swelling like watermelons two weeks ago, our walks have gone from daily to almost non-existent. She's getting really good at bringing the tennis ball directly to my outdoor lounge chair, though,...which I think is an important skill for her to learn!

I made some finishing touches on baby boy's nursery {more details and pictures coming soon}! Here's a little teaser:

I'm getting super excited for bringing the Read Right Run Marathon to my school! It is such an awesome program and I have so many ideas for making our monthly meetings fun. I really want to build up the positive reading climate in my building.

And now, back to school! Which is another time of year I love, but I will still miss the long, lovely, lazy days of summer!

Big Decisions

There are so many big decisions as motherhood is on the horizon. The nursery wall color, which glider to purchase, disposable diapers vs cloth, and the enormous question: to work or not to work? This question has been on my mind (a bit far back there) for years. Growing up, I responded to the "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question alternatively with "a teacher" and "a mom", and by mom, I meant a stay at home mom. It was what I knew, and what I respected, and what I wanted. And then, I grew up, and I started my career. I taught long hours, I built up my resume, I completed my masters degree...all so I could be a better, more well established, and more successful teacher, and career woman. I started to scoff a bit at those stay at home moms, while internally battling with my future decision. What would I do, now, knowing and doing what I do now? What would my co-workers think of me? What would my stay at home friends think of me? What do I want and how do I feel about this momentous decision?

And here we are. At the crossroads, and a necessary decision needed. Through God's great plan, and some maneuvering and begging on my part, and the delicate and momentary good mood of the Human Resources department, I am undertaking neither path. I won't work or stay at home full time, and so it is funny to realize the decision I vacillated between for so long isn't even what I am choosing.

But God's plan--although sometimes hard to understand and definitely difficult to wait upon--is good. I am embarking on a new journey, one as a part time teacher and part time stay at home mom. I am thrilled, and sad, and excited, and scared. We realized I do in fact need to work, and so the full time stay at home option wasn't in fact an option at all. But, I couldn't bring myself to abandon that long term dream. And so we are here. I am feeling very good about the change, but it is hard to know what the future will be like, so naturally I have fears at well. Will I like it? Can I handle it? Will I miss my baby? Will I miss my job? I know I'll cry the first day back and be stressed about breastfeeding at work, but I know I'll enjoy adult interaction and the feeling of doing something to benefit others.

This article encouraged my spirit today and made me feel as though I am making the best decision for our family. I'm so thankful for this part time opportunity.

What If the Best Years of Your Life...Just Aren't?

1st Trimester

Some days pregnancy FLIES by and others are an ETERNITY! But, the first trimester certainly went quickly--probably because we kept our news in for so long! Here's our Chalkboard Tracker Collage for the 1st Trimester:

And of course, I wanted to keep track of my bump--I decided to do every other week, and we didn't start until 10 weeks. Here's my [short and sweet] 1st Trimester Bump Watch Collage:

Announcing our news

We've waited so long for this moment and it is so surreal that we finally got to announce and experience the joy of saying "We're having a baby!" I'm so overwhelmed with thankfulness, just even in writing and remembering the fun of announcing our news.

I wanted to make it special for each group of people we told, and of course, I couldn't be satisfied with doing the same thing for everyone!

Those we could we told in person [surprising with balloons, ultrasound pics, and gifts!], others in phone calls [screaming with excitement]. 

For our extended family we sent this out in an email:

And for my students and co-workers, I created and did this Reading Strategies Review (I mean, I AM a reading teacher, after all!)

We were overwhelmed with love and support and other's joy for us. God is so good, and we are loved by so many!

The BIG News

There aren't adjectives to do this post justice. We are thrilled! excited! thankful! and oh so joyful to [finally] share the news we've been praying for, dreaming for, waiting for, and are in awe of...

WE ARE PREGNANT!

God is so good, and oh so faithful. Despite a rough year and a half, filled with loss, and waiting, and waiting, and more waiting, God has seen us through and we joyfully on the other side! It is unbelievably unreal and sometimes I want to pinch myself that I'm not dreaming! The queasiness and all-day-sickness has helped me feel like it is real...and I have never been so thankful to be sick in my life.

We are due in September and are praying for a healthy baby!

Open to a New Year

To be honest, I wasn't thrilled with 2013. I mean, wonderful things happened: Tom was provided Residency in St. Louis, I graduated with my Masters in Literacy, Tom graduated from Medical School, we had a very fun double graduation party with friends and family, I started a new job and I ran my first half marathon! On the outside, it was our best year yet. Isn't that the interesting thing about looking at everyone else's life on the outside? Because behind those walls, 2013 was also filled with heartbreak, anger, difficulty, disappointment and a deep struggle to maintain faith in it all. You can see a snip-it here and I hope to post more about it in 2014.

I pray your 2014, like ours, will be filled with renewed hope, deep growth, new and old friendships, learned lessons, inexplicable joy, good books, and God's great blessings!

Here's to 2014!

Thanksgiving

When things aren't seeming to go your way, it is hard to be thankful in your circumstances. Of course, there is MUCH to be thankful for, which I cannot take for granted--my health, home, family, freedom, job and much more. But, when you are mourning a loss, or lacking hope, or dwelling in pain, it is hard to find comfort in being thankful for your current situation.  I certainly felt this way for the past two Thanksgivings, and so I've tried to focus on the "little" things to be thankful for.

Here's my Thankful list:

• sweet walks with Maggie
• cute fuzzy ear warmers
• coffee (specifically while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade)
• good books
• my ability to still run 3 miles after my race
• a clean house
• my favorite sweet potato recipe from my favorite second grade teacher, Mrs. Heigel
• Tom having 3 hours off to enjoy Thanksgiving
• a fully decorated house for Christmas
• sleep

I have many blessings to count, and although that doesn't take away pain or hurt, it brightens my soul a bit to dwell on God's goodness.

Truth

This past year I've been struggling with anger and despair and darkness. Sometimes when you are in such a dark place, you repel anything that has even the slightest bit of light. That is what I've been doing. But, in my recent hope, I've let a sliver of light in, and it is oh.so.beautiful. This song came on my Pandora station and usually I would "skip" it, but today I listened to the beauty and truth of the words and was overcome with the TRUTH.

When A Heart Breaks

Life isn't easy and it isn't clean, but BOY do we need Jesus.

Honesty

I am by no means a blogger who has followers, but I was recently reading some of the blogs I follow and was so encouraged by their honesty. I was also very convicted.

Honesty. It isn't something we find too often on the internet. If all at. We hide behind Facebook profile pictures and Instagram'd life events and Twitter updates that make our lives seem perfectly put together, uncomplicated, and unbelievably joyful. But life isn't always like that. Often we are broken, depressed, dealing with complication and confusion.

I'm thankful for the honesty of these two bloggers that wrote exactly what I needed to hear yesterday: Across the Pond and Tales of Me and the Husband

Let's be honest with one another. I'll start.

Blank Pages

Yesterday was the first day of school! Here's to a new school year, and a new year (To me, this is the new  year more than in January, because my birthday is coming soon and I'll be starting another year of life)! Being a book lover, I connected with this quote. Since I'm starting a new journey as a reading teacher, and saying goodbye to the experience of being a classroom teacher, I feel like I'm writing a whole new book.

I hope it is a good one!

Summer Blues

I love summer! This summer was been wonderful because I'm loosely working [6 hours of tutoring a week], working out like crazy [love/hate relationship with my personal trainer], fitting in all my appointments and to-do list items and projects [seriously, that is almost a full time job] and relaxing [did you say read a book at the pool!?]. It's great.

But today I got all bummed out and in a funk. It probably had something to do with Tom beginning residency today [Alert: He's a real doctor, people!] and knowing I won't see him much for the next 4 years. He left home at 4:45am and returned at 7pm, so it's a crazy life. I took Maggie on a walk at 5:15 and then I made dinner and then I waited. I'm not much of a time waster or a wait around and do nothing kind of person, but that's kind of what I did for the last half hour. And I got all sad and lonely and thoughtful about life and it wasn't very fun. And whenever that happens, I go straight to music. I love music. And I love this song:

It's not that new, but I like it. I like thinking about things that make me "feel again." And I learned my lesson: tomorrow Maggie and I will take a longer walk.

Beautiful Interruptions

I am a planner and when you have a plan and a type A personality, you simply don't want anything to interrupt it. I find that sometimes I am so linked to the plans in life, that I am missing out on the unplanned, the surprises, the life that happens in-between and instead and in the interruption. This week I have been blessed with two beautiful interruptions. Twice this week I received phone calls from far-away (but very dear) friends. Each time I looked at my phone, and in that instant my planning brain said:

You don't have time!
You'll be late!
What about ____ that you were going to accomplish this morning?
This is not in the plan!
You aren't being productive!

But, after my unfortunate pause, I answered my phone. And each time it was the most beautiful interruption. Each time I was blessed with selflessness, friends calling to see how I was doing, what I was struggling with, what I needed from them. And there I had been--selfish enough to think about dismissing their call, because it wasn't the best time for ME.

So, my goal is to look for and seek out and accept and answer the beautiful interruptions that life provides. I know that I'm missing so many of them and I can't wait to see what life has to offer me when I'm willing to be interrupted. And willing to put aside my plan and accept the one that God has given me.

Getting Old

I'm 28, and my birthday is a few months away. I thought my life would look a bit different when I turned 29, and that's okay. But what I think is interesting is how I used to LOVE my birthday and I have to admit, I'm not quite as excited about this one. Once I hit 29, then it is the big 3-0. Scary. I used to think 30 was old. Hmmm.

This AMAZING video talks about being 32, and is a parady of Taylor Swift's song "22." It's awesome. Watch it, you won't be disappointed!

You're welcome. My 28 looks an awful lot like her 32. What about you?

Change

Just when we thought there wouldn't be change in our lives, it manages to creep in. Surprising, sudden, and sweet, yet overwhelming, alarming and exciting. So, I focus on this truth:

It's hard for good things to end, and I'm not good at endings. It's been a long time since I've had a new beginning, so I'm not sure how I handle them. We'll see. More to come.

Match Day

What a crazy experience! We knew that Match Day was going to be a nerve-wracking day, but we didn't know what we were in for. This was insane! But, it was a wonderful day...

We arrived at Busch Stadium and waiting in the FREEZING cold for 30 minutes. Someone was worried about getting good seats, and boy, did that pay off, when we got the best seats there! You're welcome, Tom. :) We were able to sit next to the wall of windows looking into the stadium, and less than 20 feet from the podium, directly in front of it. PERFECT!

We got our picture taken, walked around in the stadium to see the gorgeous sun coming up over the stadium and the St. Louis Arch, got some drinks and chocolate fondue, and listened to announcements. 

Then, it was 10:59am. At 11:00am on the dot they began calling names. What was amazingly fun was that each student got to choose a song, which played while they walked up to get their letter. This made it more upbeat and fun. Tom's song was Jason Aldean's Take a Little Ride. Then, the student took their letter and went back to the seat to open it. You can imagine, then, that  there is a lot going on: students getting their name called, songs played, students opening letters, people reacting. And that right there is where I began to get a little. bit. stressed. A girl to the left of us is screaming with joy. Another girl at her table is crying because she got her #4 spot. A group to the right is cheering when someone got into UNC. The guy at our table received his letter, crumpled it into a ball and walked out. He never came back. My eyes were wide and my heart was pumping. At one point they called a "Thomas" and I nearly had a heart attack. It wasn't Tom. I had the video camera ready and wanted to get it all on film, but I also wanted to survive. It literally felt like a survival situation. Don't get me wrong, it was a fun atmosphere, but there was this intensity that just hung like a cloud in the room until 12:00 when all names had been called. Whew.

Anyway, back to Tom. At 11:20 they called "Thomas Ganz" and Tom headed up to the podium. He looked fabulous and was all smiles. He came back to the table and opened the letter. I saw his reaction first: priceless. He was BEAMING, called out "YES!" and looked at me. Me? I was worried that he had read the letter wrong. Are you sure? Did it really say SLU? So, I desperately tried to read the size 8 font, and when I did, I may have given the rest of the table a show. I practically jumped onto Tom, gave him a huge hug and then a even bigger kiss. Oops! Who knew that's what my reaction would be!?  I was excited and thrilled and oh so proud of Tom! I'm so glad he was called at 11:20 because I am not sure I could not survived until noon. After that Tom just smiled and we were both so excited! And then, Tom got another drink, it was well deserved!

What does it say!? SLU!

After the Match, we had a wonderful lunch in the Redbird Club and we started to really relax. We talked about how this was the perfect venue, because people could get some space if they wanted to call relatives, and there was also something else to do after the Match. It was one of those events where you didn't want to stick around, but your adrenaline was too high not to do something else. Now it was time for fun! What fun tradition is for everyone to add their name to a map, to show where they are going for residency, which was neat. Tom added his name to St. Louis, mingled a bit, and then we headed to a tour of Busch Stadium.

We loved the tour! Here are some highlights:

The Press Box

We're on the field!

Making a call to the bull pen

In the dug out

They made a huge deal about NOT touching the grass. But, these guys were removing the sod and replacing it, so my 28 year old husband HAD to touch the "ruined" sod in the back of the gator cart just because they had said not to. Good work, Dr.!

After we left Busch Stadium, we headed to The Scottish Arms to continue celebrating. We texted friends and family to let them know we were staying in St. Louis. BUT, we kept it a surprise what program Tom got into. We wanted to reveal that at dinner with our parents. At 6:00 we met both sets of parents at Brio, where Tom gave a speech about wanting to be at SLU, but most importantly, be in St. Louis. Then, he announced he got his #1 choice: SLU OBGYN! Yea!

Dinner was delicious and then we continued the celebration once more at my parents house for a wonderful dessert and coffee. By the time we left at 10:30 we were EXHAUSTED! What an emotional roller coaster day.

We are so blessed to be able to stay in St. Louis, not have to sell our Nantucket home, and for Tom to be able to go to his top choice program in the field he wanted to be in. Praise God, He is so faithful! It is because of God's grace, and Tom's hard work and dedication that we have come so far, and we are SO thankful. It was also so neat to see our families and friends' reactions and encouragement as we went through this experience.

We are so blessed! 

I'm rather fond of walking...

I realized I think more clearly when I walk. Walking the dog is my therapy. It used to be running, but I’ve gotten a bit out of shape and, let's be honest: more lazy. And, in my defense, this is better for the dog. Always thinking of Maggie, really! 

Walking and thinking and listening to this song does a body and soul good. I just wish I could write while walking and thinking, because my thoughts are always so much more coherent and organized and well put when they are in my head then. Oh well, sorry! 

I recently watched one of my all-time favorite movies, Pride and Prejudice, and it reminded me of Lizzie: “I’m rather fond of walking.” Sometimes I wish I lived in a place and time where walking for hours was just life, true to need and reality. I think I might be a healthier and happier person.

Fashion Challenge

I don't consider myself a fashion forward person, but with the help of Pinterest, I'm trying to step out and step up my fashion choices...without spending a fortune on a wardrobe! Which, might I add, is pretty tough to do! So, this month I thought I would challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone, and use my wardrobe pieces in different ways to create new looks.

Check out my "pinspiration" here: What to Wear Board

Come back later this month to see how I did! :)

Happy Fashions!

The Best of 2012

I'm been reminiscing about the past year. I realize most people do this for New Year's, but this is the end of my "reign" of Teacher of the Year for 2012. This past week we voted for the TOY 2013, and my fabulous coworker Lori will now hold the title. But, that means, I had to return by banner, give up my premiere parking spot, and I can no longer use it to get my way! ;)

Being nominated and winning Teacher of the Year was the highlight of my 2012, and quite frankly, one of only a few good things I can see when I look back over the past year. It was certainly the best! So, here is the moment of the year, the best of 2012:

 Teacher of the Year Video

And, here's to hoping 2013 will be even better!

Getting Through This Together

It has been a rough month. For many reasons, of which I won't go into details. But, the lyrics to this song, by He Is We (one of my new favorite artists) have been an encouragement. I am so thankful for Tom and this song is a wonderful description of how I feel about being thankful to have him in my life! I could listen to it over and over again and never get tired of it. Then again, I am one of "those" people who can listen to a favorite song over and over again. It drives Tom crazy!

Listen here:

Enjoy!

Summer Depression

Summer is almost over. And by almost, I mean, officially after this week. In the 4 weeks that I actually had a summer, I have worked at school/on school stuff and/or tutored for at least 12 of those days. So, really, "summer" has been over for some time.

I'm trying to live it up this week by:
-finishing painting all the trim in the house
-read Pride and Prejudice (I'm about 1/4 of the way through)
-do all the laundry
-go to the pool to get somewhat of a summer tan
-clean the house top to bottom
-finish setting up my classroom
-watch the Olympics (highlight of my week for sure!)
-organize the basement
-play with Mag-ster

Wish me luck! :)